


Strands of Time

by orphan_account



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-19
Updated: 2012-06-19
Packaged: 2017-11-08 03:05:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/438439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor can't bear to let his Koschei go, not while he still remembers...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strands of Time

"So, Doctor, who is he? How come the ancient society of Time Lords created a psychopath?" Jack asked, looking up from his chips. The Doctor froze.

"And what is he to you? A colleague, or…" Martha trailed off, not noticing The Doctor's gulp. He forced himself to act casual, and continue eating his chips, while trying to shove away the memories that invaded his mind.

"A friend, at first," he replied evasively.

"I thought you were gonna say he's your secret brother or something," Martha remarked. The Doctor couldn't help but snort. Brothers? Not likely.

"You've been watching too much TV," he told her, and she smiled at that.

"But all the legends of Gallifrey, it sounds so perfect," Jack said, almost wistfully. The Doctor wondered which legends Jack had heard; he knew some that made Gallifrey sound horrific.

"Well, perfect to look at, maybe. And it was," he agreed. "It was beautiful. They used to call it the Shining World of the Seven Systems. And on the continent of Wild Endeavour, in the mountains of Solace and Solitude, there stood the citadel of the Time Lords." He could see it now, Gallifrey in all its glory.

"The oldest and most mighty race in the universe, looking down on the galaxies below. Sworn never to interfere, only to watch. Children of Gallifrey, taken from their families from the age of eight, to enter the Academy. Some say that's where it all began, when he was a child. That's when The Master saw eternity." Feeling a sharp pang in his chest at thinking of the other man, back when they were children. Sometimes he longed for those days, wished Gallifrey wasn't gone, if only to go back and watch those moments happen once more.

"As a novice, he was taken for initiation. He stood in front of the Untempered Schism, it's a gap in the fabric of reality, through which can be seen the whole of the vortex."

.-.

_Theta tugged his coat tighter around him, shivering slightly in the chill. They were high in the mountains, now. Glancing around at the other children, all as nervous as himself, he felt his anticipation rise, his stomach squirming and his hearts racing. He didn't know any of these children, but he soon would. Those who passed the initiation would join him in the Academy; if he passed as well, that is._

_He looked to his left, as a slightly shorter boy came up to him. The boy had jet-black hair, and bright blue eyes wide in nervous excitement. "Hi," the boy greeted quietly, slightly breathless. Theta smiled shyly._

_"Hi," he replied, the wind ruffling his own light brown hair._

_"What's your name?" the black-haired boy asked him. Theta blushed slightly, holding out a gloved hand._

_"Theta," he answered. The black-haired boy grinned, taking Theta's hand in his own and shaking it firmly._

_"Nice to meet you, Theta. I'm Koschei."_

.-.

"You stand there, eight years old, staring at the raw power of time and space, just a child. Some would be inspired, some would run away, and some would go mad."

.-.

_Theta's green eyes went impossibly wide as the Elder beckoned him closer, instructing him to stand in front of the Schism. He couldn't help but stare; it was beautiful. The swirling blacks and blues, looking impossibly deep and fast, getting faster and faster the longer he stared, yet he couldn't bring his gaze away. He was transfixed, small fists clenched in his pockets, teeth biting his bottom lip, as the Schism called to him, caressed his mind and urged him to do so many things, he didn't know what to think. His mind was a jumbled mess, his thoughts as swirled as the Schism, and all he wanted to do was blink, but there was something stopping him. Irrationally, there was a force at his eyelids, preventing him from doing anything but look wide-eyed into the depths of the gap in reality. He'd heard stories of it, from the adults, and even some teenagers he'd come across. But nothing could compare to what they'd told him of it._

_As he kept staring, he felt his legs tense, willing him to turn and run, and never look back. But again, he couldn't. He didn't think he could even twitch a finger, and he wasn't entirely sure whether he was breathing or not. To be honest, he probably wouldn't have cared until he passed out from lack of air. Even then, the only thing on his subconscious mind would be that he wanted to see more of the Schism, to stand there for the rest of eternity, just gazing at the pure power and energy._

_He vaguely felt a hand on his shoulder, gripping him through the material of his thick coat. It pulled him back, forcing him to snap his eyes away. Panting harshly, he fell to his knees, back to the Schism, the hand still on his shoulder. "That, child, is the power of the universe," a voice murmured in his ear, and he looked up to see the Elder giving him a smile, a strange glint in the man's eyes. "One day, you will control a small fraction of that power," the Elder told him. Theta gaped._

_"Does that… does that mean I passed?" he asked quietly. The Elder nodded, pulling him to his feet._

_"Yes, child, you passed. Now go join your new classmates," he told him, giving him a small push towards a group of children huddled together, all with the same shaken, exhilarated, wide-eyed expression on their faces that Theta was sure was on his own. His legs feeling like ectoplasm, he stumbled over to join the group, and couldn't stop the grin that bloomed when he spotted Koschei standing with them._

_"You passed," he said excitedly, and the other boy gave him a small smile, body shaking. Theta frowned. "Koschei? Are you alright? Are you cold?" he asked in concern, moving closer to the boy and putting an arm around his shoulders, trying to share the warmth of his coat._

_"What? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," Koschei murmured dazedly. "Congratulations." Theta beamed once more._

_"Thanks, you too! It was amazing, wasn't it? It moved so fast… what did you see?" he asked, knowing that different people saw different things. Koschei turned to him, a strangely hollow look in his blue eyes._

_"The Drums. I only saw the Drums."_

.-.

"What about you?" Martha asked curiously. The Doctor grinned wryly around a mouthful of chips.

"Oh, the one that ran away. Never stopped."

.-.

_Theta let out a contented sigh as he stared up at the darkening sky through the glass of the dome over the citadel. The twin suns were setting, turning the sky from its usual burnt orange to a deep indigo, the ethereal neon green sprawl of the Ferosta galaxy the brightest thing in the sky. He felt the grass against his back through the thin material of his shirt. One arm was bent behind his head, his other by his side, fingers gently brushing those of his companion. "It's weird," he mused aloud, his voice breaking the silence._

_"What's weird?" his companion asked, turning his head to face him, using his free hand to push his jet black fringe from his ice blue eyes. Theta smiled._

_"This time tomorrow, we'll have graduated, fully qualified Time Lords, the both of us. Then we'll finally be free, Koschei," he replied wistfully. Koschei grinned back at him, moving his hand to grasp Theta's._

_"Yeah. Free to explore all of that," he said happily, lifting their intertwined hands to point in a sweeping gesture up at the sky. Theta's grin widened._

_"We're going to go to every last one of those stars and planets out there, aren't we? Together," he added, rolling onto his side, facing Koschei, his head propped up on his arm._

_"Of course we are, Thete, we've got all this time on our hands, got to do something with it, haven't we?" Koschei replied teasingly, making Theta chuckle. Koschei reached out a hand to Theta's waist, tugging him closer until the other Time Lord was almost on top of him. "How do I know you won't get bored of me, huh? What if I get hurt and regenerate into some ugly old sod, then you run off with some pretty boy?" he asked him, a playful glint in his eye. Theta laughed, pressing his lips against the taller teen's._

_"I don't care if you regenerate into a Sontaran, I'll still love you. I might force you into another regeneration until you're gorgeous again, but I'll still love you," he added with a mischievous grin. Koschei growled at him, rolling them over until he was on top, straddling Theta's waist, pinning him to the grass._

_"Don't even joke about that, Thete. I mean, me, a- a Sontaran!" he gasped, horrified, making Theta burst into laughter. "It's not funny! How could I go from the sex god I am to an ugly little midget like that?" Koschei protested._

_"You won't, Kosch, I was just joking. Let me up," Theta urged. Koschei gave him a wolfish grin._

_"Why would I do that, love, I've got you right where I want you," he drawled, lowering himself closer to Theta, though not letting their lips touch. He could see the unbridled lust shining in Theta's bright green eyes._

_"Kosch, we have to get back, we need to be up early for the ceremony tomorrow. Graduation, remember?" Theta breathed, a shiver going down his spine as Koschei's hot breath tickled his cheek._

_"Screw the ceremony," Koschei muttered, kissing Theta hotly. Theta moaned into his mouth, his arms wrapping tightly around Koschei's back, pressing him flush against his chest. Koschei's hands snaked under the hem of Theta's shirt, groping at pale flesh, his legs between Theta's, allowing him to feel the hardness pressed against his stomach._

_"If we have the restraint, we could take this back to the dorm," Theta panted between kisses. Koschei shook his head._

_"Or we could do it here," he argued, removing his hands from Theta's sides so the other teen could take his shirt off, shivering slightly as his chest was exposed to the evening air. Theta pushed him so he was the one on top, lifting his own shirt off over his head._

_"Fair enough," he agreed breathlessly, a grin on his face. Koschei slid his hands into Theta's messy light brown hair as Theta's mouth latched onto a nipple, biting slightly and trailing hot, open mouthed kisses down his chest. Both Time Lords let out loud moans as their hips ground together, and Theta's hands moved to the fastenings of Koschei's trousers. "Love you, Kosch," he gasped, throwing his head back as Koschei nipped at a sensitive spot below his ribcage. He felt Koschei smile against his skin, kissing it._

_"Love you too, Thete, now shut up and get naked," the blue-eyed teen muttered. Theta let out a short bark of laughter at the command._

_"Yes, Master," he replied teasingly, moving to obey._

.-.

It was almost physically painful for The Doctor to stand there, veiled under the perception filter, watching The Master mock the President. Oh, he was still his Kosch. Underneath it all, he hadn't changed a bit. Always the jokester, though his humour had been perverted over the years. The Doctor wanted to kill whichever Power had decided to pick him; had decided that Koschei would be one of the ones driven to insanity. It wasn't fair.

"I'm not here to kill him. I'm here to save him."

.-.

_Although Theta despised all the stuffy pomp and circumstance that came with the graduation ceremony, he had to admit that walking over to the high counsellor and receiving his certificate to the sound of cheers and claps was one of the proudest moments of his life. Of course, all the cheers and claps couldn't compare to the wide grin on Koschei's face and the pride in his eyes as he watched, his own certificate already in his hand. Going back to his seat and settling to watch the others graduate, he caught his lover's eyes and beamed at him, getting a large smile in return. "Congratulations," Koschei mouthed at him, giving him a small thumbs up by his knee where the others couldn't see it. Theta returned the gesture, mouthing back 'Thanks', and the two looked back to the ceremony, Theta's nerves soothed slightly by the persistent 'tap-tap tap-tap' of Koschei's fingers on the side of his chair, the same rhythm the dark-haired teen always tapped out. The rhythm of the drums, he always told Theta, halting any conversation they had. The drums were an unspoken topic between them; when Koschei woke up in the middle of the night, head pounding, Theta didn't ask anymore, just wrapped his arms tighter around him and ran a hand through his hair until he slept once more._

_The last name was called, and the High Counsellor said a small closing speech, before all the graduating students let out a loud cheer, whooping and throwing their caps into the air. Theta moved straight to Koschei, dodging through people wanting to clap him on the back, and hugged him tightly letting out a triumphant cheer. Koschei laughed, lifting Theta off the ground and spinning him around, kissing him. "We made it!" Theta exclaimed. "We actually managed to graduate."_

_"It's a miracle neither of us got expelled," Koschei agreed wryly. Theta chuckled._

_"We're just too good at not getting caught, love," he replied. Suddenly, the crowd of happy people grew larger as friends and family joined in, many of them drawing Theta or Koschei into hugs and shaking their hands. A lot of the girls were crying, and even a couple of their male classmates were trying valiantly to hide tears. In the excitement, Theta let go of Koschei's hand, allowing himself to be enveloped in the crowd._

_"Congratulations, Theta! Second time lucky!" a girl in his class, Osiro, said with a smile, and he grinned back._

_"Yeah, only just, though. Still, 51 is still a pass, I can't complain. Congratulations to you, too, Oz," he replied. She blushed slightly._

_"Thanks."_

_"Hey, you haven't seen Koschei, have you? We kinda got separated," he asked sheepishly. She frowned in thought._

_"Hmm, don't think so. He'll turn up, though, don't worry," she assured him, her smile returning. He smiled back, though it was half-hearted._

_"Yeah, thanks. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go look for him," he said. She nodded, giving him a tight hug._

_"Sure. See you later," she replied, before releasing him, walking off to her friends. He darted through the crowd, avoiding being dragged over to other classmates and absently returning the congratulations as he passed people, his eyes searching for Koschei's familiar head of black hair among the crowd. He couldn't find him anywhere, though, and decided that maybe he'd gone back to the dorm to get a head start on packing. Koschei didn't really like crowds. Theta jogged back up to the dorm building, making his way to the room he shared with Koschei, and opened the door._

_"Kosch? You in here?" he called out, entering the dorm. There was no reply, and he walked towards the bedroom. Each dorm had three rooms; a bedroom, a bathroom, and a general room that served as a study, a living area and anything else the occupants decided. Their dorm was incredibly neat, due to the fact that they'd had to pack their things. Normally, there would be clothes, books and Rassilon knows what else strewn about the place. Theta frowned as he reached the bedroom, which was also empty. "Koschei?" he called again, raising his voice slightly. Still, no reply. His frown deepened when he saw that his suitcase was the only one propped against the wall in the corner. Before they'd left for the ceremony, both of theirs had been sitting there. The rest of their stuff was in their new apartment, not that they'd have it for long. Koschei had passed his test to get his TARDIS license, unlike Theta, and they planned to get one as soon as possible to start their adventures. Sure, they were only supposed to observe, but what the Council didn't know wouldn't hurt them._

_Running a hand through his hair, Theta sat on the edge of his bed with a sigh. "Where are you, Koschei?" he murmured to himself. It wasn't like his lover to just wander off alone; usually he took Theta with him. Figuring Koschei would turn up eventually, he laid back on his bed, letting out a long breath. Something made a crinkling sound when he put his head on his pillow, and his brow furrowed. Lifting up his pillow, he raised an eyebrow at the scrap of paper and picked it up. Reading the words written on it, both his hearts dropped to his stomach. "No, please, no, don't do this," he muttered, hands shaking as the note fluttered to the floor, his shoulders tensing as he tried to stop himself from crying. He wouldn't cry. He couldn't. Jumping to his feet, he gave the room a cursory glance to check he hadn't left anything important behind, before grabbing his suitcase and running. He ran out of the dorm building, the opposite direction of the ceremony and towards the Academy. He didn't stop running until he reached the room where the TARDISes were kept. The nearest one was currently taking the form of a cupboard, and he opened the door, tearing inside and throwing the suitcase to the ground inside, sprinting to the control panel, half blinded by tears. It wouldn't be long before the Council were after him; there was an alarm on the door to tell them if anyone went in when they weren't allowed. Running around the centre console, pressing buttons and pulling levers, he didn't care where his destination was, just so long as he was away from the Citadel. He couldn't stay here, not without Koschei. The TARDIS shook as it dematerialized, and, job done, Theta sank to his knees, letting the tears flow, the words written on the paper burned into the back of his eyes._

'I'm sorry, I'll only break your hearts. Don't try and follow me. I love you. Koschei.'

.-.

"I forgive you."

.-.

_Theta didn't know how long he spent drifting through the Vortex, curled up in the bed of the first bedroom he'd found, a sobbing, shaking mess. His cheeks were permanently tear-streaked, having given up trying to stop them long ago. It could have been days, or it could have been years, he had no idea. It felt like eternity to him._

_Koschei was gone._

.-.

"You mean you're just going to keep me?" The Master asked, glaring at The Doctor. The Doctor felt his hearts clench, remembering a time when those brown eyes were blue, and looked at him with nothing but love. Did the other Time Lord even remember those times? Did he even care?

"Yeah, if that's what I have to do," The Doctor replied. _Anything to keep you close to me_. "It's time to change. Maybe I've been wandering for too long. Now I've got someone to care for." And that someone was a someone he cared for very much. Too much, some might say, but he had gone far too long without that man by his side to give up on him now.

The shot rang out, and The Doctor felt every muscle in his body freeze. No. No, it couldn't be. It had to have missed. His eyes sought out the gun, now in the hands of Lucy Saxon. Her face looked apathetic, dazed, as if she didn't even notice she'd pulled the trigger. He looked towards The Master, who had a pained expression on his face, his knees buckling slightly. The Doctor ran forward to catch him, cradling the man in his arms. This wasn't what he'd meant when he said he wanted to hold him again. "Put it down," he said to Lucy, who still didn't seem to notice. "There you go. I've got you, I've got you," he soothed, holding the other Time Lord as close as he dare. The Master's eyes were wide, shocked, and his teeth were gritted. His arms were still handcuffed behind his back, and The Doctor wished they weren't, if only for the slightest chance the other man might hold him back. A hug, a hand in his, a fist gripping his lapel, he wouldn't have cared which.

"It's always the women," The Master remarked. The Doctor winced.

"I didn't see her," he said, apologetic. _If I had, I would have stopped her_. He glanced back to see Jack taking the gun from Lucy's hands. Good. At least she couldn't shoot him again.

"Dying in your arms. Happy now?" The Master gritted out, the faintest hint of a smirk at his lips. The Doctor shook his head.

"You're not dying, don't be stupid. It's only a bullet, just regenerate," he urged. _Please regenerate. I can't lose you, I've only just found you_ , he thought desperately.

"No," The Master gasped. The Doctor's eyes widened.

"One little bullet, come on," he pleaded. This couldn't be it. This couldn't be the end, not when they'd only just met again. Getting shot by an angry wife couldn't be the way The Master left the universe.

"I guess you don't know me so well. I refuse," The Master replied shortly, his breath coming in shallow gasps.

"Regenerate. Just regenerate. Please, please, just regenerate! Come on!" The Doctor begged, gripping The Master tighter. It was times like these he hated the universe; the last surviving Time Lord, the one who tried to destroy the Earth, was Koschei. _His_ Koschei.

"And spend the rest of my life imprisoned with you?" Koschei asked wryly. Theta didn't know when he'd stopped thinking of him as The Master, or indeed when he'd become Theta once more. He'd stopped trying to think those names the day he left Gallifrey. The day Koschei left him.

 _'You wouldn't be imprisoned, Koschei,'_ Theta thought, uncaring that he'd accidentally joined their minds in grief, allowing Koschei to hear his every word. _'I couldn't imprison you.'_

 _'You would, Thete. You couldn't take the chance that I might do this again.'_ Theta jumped slightly at the intrusion to his mind, feeling both his hearts ache at the sensation of having Koschei's mind joined to his own, the faint pulsing that his ex-lover always told him was the Drums.

 _'We could sort something out. It doesn't have to be this way,'_ he insisted.

_'It does. I won't regenerate, Theta.'_

"But you've got to. Come on, it can't end like this," Theta pleaded once more, his eyes stinging with tears. "You and me, all the things we've done." _'All the things we said we'd do. You promised me we'd travel the universe together.'_ Theta felt the mental equivalent of a laugh.

 _'Yes, well I've never been very good at keeping promises. There is one I kept, though. All these years.'_ Theta attempted a small smile, but all that came out was a few more tears.

 _'Oh yeah? What's that, then?'_ he asked wryly.

 _'I kept that promise I made when I said I'd love you for eternity. Never stopped, not even when I hated you,'_ Koschei informed him, and Theta let out a choked sob.

 _'Then why don't you regenerate? Please, Kosch! I need you!'_ he sobbed, the hot tears trickling down his cheeks.

 _'No, you don't. You never have,'_ came the solemn, slightly bitter reply.

"Axons! Remember the Axons, and the Daleks!" Theta burst out, trying anything to get him to regenerate.

 _'And what about all those times you dealt with things without me, huh? You don't need me, Thete. You're better off without me,'_ Koschei insisted. Theta shook his head fiercely.

 _'That's my decision to make, and I'm telling you that I need you! I'll find something to fix the Drums, I'll get you some help, anything. Just don't leave me again.'_ "We're the only two left. There's no one else," he added aloud, voice choked with tears.

 _'Not Time Lord, but there's plenty of humans. You always did like humans,'_ Koschei remarked, his lips quirking into a slight grin.

 _'I don't want humans! I want you! I love you!'_ Theta shouted inside their heads.

 _'I'm sorry. When I told you I'd break your hearts, all those centuries ago, I was right. And I'm sorry,'_ Koschei replied sincerely. Theta blinked furiously as yet more tears clouded his vision.

"Regenerate!" he urged, raw desperation in his voice. _'Please, Kosch. Regenerate. For me. You're breaking my hearts right now.'_

"How about that?" Koschei muttered, his lips forming the barest of smiles. _'It's the only thing I seem to be good at, breaking things.'_

 _'Then change! Fix something, fix me! Regenerate!'_ Theta's mental voice sounded completely and utterly devastated, as if it was him who was dying. He felt it as if it was himself dying; he'd been without his Koschei for so many years, thinking him dead, and now he'd found him again, only for this to happen. He was losing a part of himself for a third time, and he didn't think he could recover after this one.

"I win." _'I finally get the upper hand.'_

_'This isn't about getting the upper hand! This isn't a game, Kosch, this is your life! Please, just regenerate!'_

_'I can't. I'm sorry, Theta. I love you. Never stopped, never will. Just… forget me. Move on, find someone else, and forget me.'_ At that, Theta got a tearfully exasperated look on his face.

_'As if I could. I'll never forget you, Koschei. Even when the skies go dark, and the last sun goes out, I'll still love you. Don't do this, Kosch, please don't do this!'_

"The drumming, will it stop?" Koschei's voice was barely a whisper, laden with pain, and yet so hopeful. Theta knew he'd lost him.

 _'Yeah, Kosch. The drumming will stop. It'll all be over, love,'_ he assured the other Time Lord, hugging him close. He felt the mind connected to his grow weaker, the link becoming faint, and knew Koschei was dying.

 _'…love you, Thete…'_ he heard, before the connection was lost completely, and Koschei went limp in his arms. Theta felt a new wave of tears spring to his eyes, and couldn't stop the agonized yell that escaped his lips as he pulled his Koschei closer, burying his face in the man's soft hair. No, no, no, he couldn't be dead! He couldn't be! But as much as Theta denied it, the emptiness in his mind kept reminding him that once again, he was the last of the Time Lords.

He didn't know how long he sat their, crying over the body of his lost love, before he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up, he met Jack's sympathetic eyes. "He wasn't just a friend, was he?" the Captain asked quietly, too quietly for anyone else to hear. There was no pity in his eyes, nor disgust at the fact that he could love a man such as his Koschei, only sympathy and understanding. Of course, immortal Jack had lost plenty of loves over the years, always destined to carry on without them.

"No. no, he wasn't." Theta's eyes were glassy and tearful, as Jack dropped to his knees, hugging him around the shoulders. He figured the others were probably watching, but he didn't care. Kosch was gone. "I love him, Jack. I love him, and he's gone," he sobbed brokenly, feeling Jack's arms tighten around him, and a kiss press to his hair.

"I know, Doc. He knew it, too."

.-.

And as The Doctor – no longer Theta, for what was Theta without his Koschei? – lowered the torch to the towering funeral pyre, Koschei – not The Master, he was never really The Master in the end – laying lifeless on top, he saw his hand shake, and felt his shoulders tense in the effort to keep the sobs at bay. For, once again, another person he loved was gone.

Koschei burned, as Gallifrey had burned, all those years ago. It was fitting.

He couldn't help but wonder how long it would be until they were all gone, and there was no one left to love. The only person who wouldn't – couldn't – leave him was Jack. As for the rest… their time would come.

And he would carry on, bearing his burden, forever the Lonely God.


End file.
